he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
