I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
