...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
