shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
