At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
