Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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