What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
