you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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