what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
