somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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