im six kinds of drunk right now
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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