I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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