We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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