That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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