So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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