Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
