Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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