but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
