I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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