I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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