Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
