ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Mom said you looked used
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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