I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
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Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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