Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize