How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
