i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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