All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just wanna soil my oats bro
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
