I just saw a hot homeless man
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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