I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
