stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
