Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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