He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize