My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
