The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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