babies were throwing up all over the place
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize