Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
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U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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