Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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