turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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