possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
