Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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