So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
