we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
