I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
