I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
