The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
My cat gives me a boner
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
