i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
