yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
