Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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