I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
