He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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