I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
