Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize