Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
