I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
