How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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