Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize