Got a toothbrush?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
