Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
