I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Enjoy the penises
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
