no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
