The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
