i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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